Scratching the Itch

2007-10-30T15:22:00.001+08:00

Petpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpet

Yeah. Just thought I'd like to have the last word in the blog.

xoxo
Petpet

Closed

2007-07-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

I am hereby closing this blog.

Maintaining it single-handedly, all the while keeping another blog open has proven just too much for the both of us. Then again, the real reason is probably because both of us couldn't get gatal enough to update more. Not get gatal together la, doink. Meanwhile, to read more of our witty writings, please do visit our personal blogs. Our links can be found at the right-side panel.

Our attempt to take over the world in fits of gatalness has failed.

But should the time be right sometime in the future, we WILL be back. To infinity and beyond.

Hey Sexy

2007-07-03T17:23:00.000+08:00

*This post is taken from my Xanga and Blogspot sites*

Guess what.

I checked my e-mail inbox and saw that a certain Pamela B. had left me a message on Tagged, the social networking site just like Friendster. With much curiousity i opened the message. This was what I got:

Tantalizing as the message may seem (and her cleavage, too), something just wasn't right with this whole thing. Now, normally I would dismiss such random messages from strangers I hardly know (Then again, who knows strangers really well, right?). But given the fishy circumstances, I decided to prod a little more.

.....

Ok, lah. Fine. I just wanted to see who the hell she really was cuz I was mesmerized by her cleavage. Happy?

Anyway, a quick visit to her profile and this was what I found:

Hmm ... it seemed pretty much like an ordinary profile. So I decided to pay more attention to the details in the profile.

Notice when she just joined? June 8, 2007. My suspicions were strengthened further when I decided to read the comments left by people she "knew".

A scammer. How convenient. While this was the only comment I've featured here, there WERE other people who thought the profile was authentic. And simliar to common lusty male behaviour, left a string of weird and creepy comments on the page.

"Hey sexii, how are u?"

"cold hearted dragon looking for lady friends to try and warm my heart again"

"love those babbbies"

And the best comment of all ...

"hi baby h r u i love u dear dye i like u ur briest is very good"

-__________________-"

Dimwits. Such sexually-driven behavour of my fellow male homosapiens are truly a disgrace to those of us who possess much more intellect than they could possibly have put together.

So, out of curiosity again, I decided to view the profile of the guy who left the graphic (pun intended) comment on that page. The fella has obviously had a lot of encounters with these scammers, as 80% of his site is practically dedicated to exposing them!

Let's start with the person who tried to scam me.

It gets better.

Uhuh ... as you can see, most of 'em involve a person with a sob story and is not trapped in Africa or somewhere where proverty is ripe. They then try to create a "love conection" with you in hopes you will send them money. Thus, making you seem like a stupid, lusty man. I didn't say "or woman" cuz as of now, I have yet to hear/see of a case like this befall upon a woman. It happens mostly to us men who crave for the sensation of flesh.

Ah, but that man is not me.

The best part is that all the photos used as profile pictures are usually taken from modelling sites.

Well, should I even bother replying Pamela?

2007-06-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

You know what?

It's hard to be gatal when you aren't getting any.

Action, I need action!

Itchy

2007-06-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

I'm like damn itchy now. And it's not the usual kind I have.

See, mosquitoes have been invading my house for the past few weeks. They come in hoardes, they hide in dark corners and swarm us in packs of tens, irritating the hell of my family and I.

I suspect they might have a common breeding ground, where late at night, when everybody is sleeping, it's a major clubbing scene, where all the mosquitoes get high on mozzy music and have a massive orgy. See, all the blood suckers out there are female (mosquitoes, not people), the males, meanwhile, prefer to get their nutrition from plants. And male mozzies are much bigger in size compared to their female counterparts too.

Upon the realization of this fact, I began to ponder on those countless times I've seen two mosquitoes entwined in what must seem like a tantric sex flight. Could it be a case of homosexuality amongst mosquitoes? Interesting ...

Anyway, I can't even sit in front of my computer in peace without at least half a dozen mosquitoes trying to have a go at my blood ... all at the same time!!!

Did I ever mention that out of all God's great creations, I hate mosquitoes the most? Well, I do. They serve no purpose, other than to cause itchiness (not the gatal kind), mood swings and diseases.

Back to my mozzie problem. It's an amazing batch I have invading my home. Though time and time again I give my room a thorough spray, and all of them end up dead, somehow the very next day my room will be filled with them again.

-_____________________-"

And it's not limited to my room alone. Every other room in my home is being invaded too! Even the toilets! (Yes, I do realize the potential for a couple of mozzies to be in a toilet are rather high, but we're talking about half a dozen at one go here). Can't even shower in peace. Urgh.

And it doesn't stop there. They're incredibly agile too. All my old tricks of killing them bare-handedly aren't working anymore. I'm thinking of investing in a mosquito killer tool.

Dear readers out there!

Should you see a mosquito next time, please do all you can to kill the fella! No, let's not stop at kill, let's torture 'em first! (I used to knock some unconscious first ... then pluck their wings and legs before squishing them to a pulp)

May ye all have lives free of 'em pests.

Try that again, bitch.

We Is Gatal feat. Petunia

2007-06-23T13:24:00.000+08:00

You know, when I came up with the idea of We Is Gatal, I thought it'd be a superb idea. Rather interesting, in fact.

But one month on, and inspiration to write here is seriously lacking. If that wasn't bad enough, Petpet has gone on a hiatus. A lot of problems with regards to the setting up of this blog is soon emerging.

I'm gonna need to come up with some gatal-inspiring post soon, otherwise the demise of this blog shall come rather swiftly.

Petpet is M.I.A. (Again!)

2007-06-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

Yet again, my Petpet is missing.

Okay, that was just wrong on so many levels. POINT IS ... she has gone on a hiatus and has not given me any info on when she might ever return.

Bloody hell, now must jaga two babies.

Gilroy

2007-06-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

To all gatal people out there,

Ever got into the mood but your significant other was "too tired", had a headache and generally wasn't interested? Well, have no fear, a solution is here!

It's called Gilroy.

It was used in the Ocean's Thirteen movie, in the scene where Matt Damon had to seduce a woman. All he did was dab a little bit of Gilroy on the side of his neck. And when I say dab i mean he did it using a piece of cotton smaller than your average finger nail. It gave off a scent, which made the woman gatal as hell.

Now, don't you all want a piece of Gilroy?

I've just tried Googling the term "Gilroy", but all I've come up with is that it is a name of a place in America. Great. Therefore, as of now, I have no idea on how to manufacture the said Gilroy.

So, I'm calling all you gatal people out there who may know what this Gilroy thing is. Please leave a message as I am VERY interested in hearing from you.

I just hope that Gilroy thing isn't fictional.

Imagine the possibilities if I knew how to manufacture it. I could sell it as a line of fragrance. Unisex. Think big. It could be the next Christian Dior or Ralph Lauren. We'll name it Pinto for the guys, and Petpet for the girls.

Might have a problem with the Malaysian censors, though.

Though, the instructions would recommend using only small doses at one time. If a small dab could have that effect on a woman, imagine all those KBKK's who like to use half a bottle of perfume at one go.

-____________________-"

Wahlauwei, sure kena chase and rape on the spot. Might find a couple of stray dogs getting in on the action, too.

Babbling

2007-06-10T17:59:00.000+08:00

Err... WHY do you come across this site when Googling up "Itchy Horny Daddy"?!?!

Dear Lord, if my mother found out...

She'd be so proud she taught me well =D

Eh excuse me, just coz my mom's almost about to retire doesn't mean she's got nothing kinky left in her okay.

Truth be told, I have a feeling she's more dirty-minded than I am wei. Well, I must have gotten my genes from somewhere kan?

Today she said something about making love to a dog =s

This is the woman who brought me up. The one who taught me my ABCs and 123s. The one who dragged me to piano lessons and ignored my bomb threats when she thought I needed a haircut.

The same woman who pointed out the bed I was conceived on.

Too much info, mum!

Though when you think about it, your parents must have done "it" to get you kan?

On second thought, DON'T think about it.

Too late.

*covers head with recyclable plastic bag*

Even when trying to commit suicide, remember your responsibilities to the environment, kids.

Think green.

Or something like that.

I feel like going into lecture-mode about taking care of Mother Nature.

So here goes.

*Deep breath in preparation for a life-changing speech*

"Reuse condoms, kids.

It could save billions of trees a year from deforestation."

Disclaimer: This blogger refuses to be held liable for any consequences whatsoever that may occur as a result of following the above advice.

Anyway, back to my point.

Umm.. my all-important point that I now can't remember head or tail of...

This will have to be continued later =/

PS: To anyone brain-dead enough to take the "reuse condoms" advise stated above... contact the evil sifu for an intensive lesson in comprehensive sex ed

Itchy Horny Daddy

2007-06-09T11:27:00.000+08:00

Absolutely astounding.

I was going through the site statistics and found that someone came across this page from Google. The search query was "itchy horny daddy"

Try typing it in Google and see what is the first result you get. Yup. You get We Is Gatal. Firstly, which fella got nothing better to do than to go and type "itchy horny daddy" in Google huh?? I wonder what kind of fetish that person has in mind.

-__________________________-"

All the results below the We Is Gatal blog were all links to porn sites. That puts us on par with a porn site, people. You are officially viewing a pornographic blog. Go tell you parents ALL about it~!!!

I am horny

Gatalcasting

2007-06-08T17:23:00.000+08:00

I will get into that a bit later, but first ...

It is with much regret that our other friendly author, Petpet, will not be able to contribute to this blog for the next few days. Her Internet connection at home has sadly gone bonkers. And as of such, Petpet's itchy fingers shall remain unsatisfied for the next few days. So if you do by some stroke of luck (or lack thereof), please do run as far away as you can. She would probably be dying to just get something/someone to take the gatalness away from her.

Now, on to the post!

I had Broadcasting 1 today. During a tutorial session, my Tutor-cum-Lecturer (hold that dirty thought) said that in the industry, one and only ONE thing helps a production boost itself, be it a movie or tv show: SEX

As if you didn't know that already, you horny goats, you.

Sex sells. And we all know it. That's why hot and sexy girls are recruited to promote products that otherwise have no connection to their apparent hotness in any way. That is why the gorgeously made up celebrities are picked to endorse products rather than your neighbour with the pot belly and fashionable armpit hair.

Another interesting thing to know about what I am soon to get myself into:

She said that while doing her Masters (there you go again with that dirty thought. You should really be ashamed of yourselves!), she was told her by her lecturer to explore the many types of movie genres. Be it comedy, romance, action, drama, and even horror. Yes, how unfortunate for the coward at heart.

But then that lecturer threw in one extra genre that wouldn't have really come to your mind. One that most of the world shuns, yet has millions of worshippers worldwide. None but the brave and thick-skinned dare discuss it.

Yes, he said that we should all WATCH PORN!

Like, seriously. We have much to learn from porn. One of which includes the use of camera angles. Yes, it's true. Apparently, in the porn industry, some of the camera angles used aren't used in the other genres. It's an exclusivity.

Wonder how a class studying camera angles would play out?

WARNING!!!

The latter part of this post contains graphic depictions of sex and porn. If your are under the age of 18, or not allowed to view pornographic materials by your parents, please do not continue reading this post.

.....

HAHAHAHAHA!
Then again, I bet most people would have had their first experience with porn while under the age of 18 anyway. Besides, all my images aren't as ... graphic as the actual thing. *wink*

"Class, please give me your utmost attention in the next few minutes. We will be exploring the many camera angles used in the porn industry"
*attentive class*

Scene 1

"Class, this here is the first type of camera angle used in the porn industry. As you can see, this shot was taken from the right angle, allowing the viewer a full view of ... "

Scene 2

"Class, as you can see, this was taken from the top view. It is an angle favoured by many porn watchers as it gives the viewer an almost bird-eye-view of the subject of this 'artistic' piece: the woman."

LOL.

By the way, under normal circumstances, the camera angle used in Scene 2 is considered to portray weakness and inferiority in camera work. However, like the lecturer of my lecturer said, exploring the different genres will help us learn more about the technical things that we never thought of analysing before this.

I imagine if a lecturer put up such slides in a class, the students' reactions would be somewhat simliar to this:

Waaaaaaaaahhh....

Now, all I need to do is just convince my dad on the logic the argument above holds ...

What Do You Do

2007-06-06T09:15:00.001+08:00

What do you do when you have a itch

You try to scratch it as hard as you can

If it just so happens your friend is a bitch

You "bergatal" and steal her man

What do you do if her man tak layan

You teasingly play with your skirt

Lean over and whisper "Come on, hun"

As you silkily slip off your shirt

What do you do if your friend walks in then,

Buat aje muka tak tau

Put on your shirt and coolly pretend

As if he wasn't just checking out your "pau"s

What do you do when your friend looks at you

And calls you a horny slut

Strut towards the door as you slip on your shoes

Don't forget to wiggle your butt

What do you do once you reach the door

Explain with a voice cool and soft

"It was nothing, I ain't itching no more

Your husband's so tiny, he turned me off"

Gatal Tak Digaru

2007-06-05T20:08:00.000+08:00

Selamat datang, si pembaca

Ini Si Sifu Jahat tengah berblogging. Si Sifu hari ini ada cerita untuk you pembaca semua. Jadi tutup muzik kuat membabi macam setan you yang tengah bermain di si komputer you sekarang agar you dapat menikmati intipati cerita Sifu ini dengan sesyiok yang boleh.

Lol.

Anyways, have I mentioned I am very the gatal? Yes, I have.

A little background info for all ye readers: I am currently starting my degree in Broadcasting at, of all places for a coloured man, UTAR! The place overun with lalas and sihams and fashion disasters of all kinds!!!

See, the impression I got from the word Broadcasting is that there would be a lot of attractive people there. So I can come to college and cuci mata everyday. Sadly, though, that is not so.

There are two major areas in which a Broadcasting graduate can go into. Namely:

Television

Radio

And any small kid could tell you that naturally, the people in the television industry would prefer it if you were physically attractive, so to speak.

Therefore, it is with much regret that I announce that 95% of the people in my course are what I dub, Radio People.

Radio People

The leftover 5%, are Tv People. But of that 5%, hardly any speak English as their first language. Meaning it will be very hard for gatal me to get them to garu for me. Sigh.

Tv People

I am gatal. So gatal now. But most of my classmates invoke feelings that are at the complete opposite spectre of gatalness at the moment.

I'd rather be hung by my testicles from a tree and get whacked like a pinata before I get jiggy with any of them.

Petpet's Back!

2007-06-04T10:01:00.000+08:00

I, the great Pet, am here to rescue you from the evil clutches of d evil sifu because, as his name suggests, he is evil.

Evil.

D evil sifu.

Eh you realize tak, "D evil" is Devil.

Whoaaaaa.. so it's like.. the d evil devil.

Babbling

Eh and Portuguese Pinto please ar, damn membabi ar you, I'm worth more than $2 OK.

Three bucks.

THREE.

Which is like one, two, THREE.

OK, this is MY official welcome to you horny hornsters who may be too insecure about your own horniness to start your own menggatal blog.

We could be your inspiration, your Muse, your MOJO.

Nah, MOJO is the name of my Muse. Go find your own names K.

Anyway, welcome to we-is-gatal. Why we-is-gatal? Coz we memang damn menggatal. So gatal you can't tahan. Gatal in places you can't garu in public please.

Unfortunately, I still have to keep my kegatalan under wraps coz Mummy is learning how to Google things up and god forbid, she may come across this site.

Especially since she's so interested in finding my blog.

Now, mummy dear can't know that her holy, church-going modest Indian girl of a daughter is gatal, can she?

Spoil image

And she may kick me out of the house.

Daddy too.

I love my Mummy, I love my Daddy,
But most of all, I love being horny.

I'm going to stop here, before I further incriminate myself.

Later

M.I.A.

2007-06-04T00:36:00.001+08:00

Have you seen her?

My partner in crime is missing!!!

Makes Me Wonder

2007-06-02T11:09:00.000+08:00

I was just thinking ...

With all the traffic this blog is gonna get from both Pet's and my friends, this blog could potentially be a huge milking cow of moolah.

That's money to you initiated folks.

But after having had enough of Advertlets, I was actually taking a look at Nuffnang's site and taking it into consideration. While Advertlets seemed to be more of a portal purely for those intending to make money, Nuffnang is more of a community sort of thing.

Much like your local Nerd Club

"Ooooh, what fascinating specs she has!"

This is really off-topic, but I found this picture and would really like to share this joy with you:

The mother of all nerds

"Greetings, earthlings."

Anyways, back to the topic. At Nuffnang, they have a few gatherings amongst its members. They also have a feature called "Blogger of the Month". It's recent Blogger of the Month is Kenny Sia. All a member would need to do is submit a photo, along with a post on themself to the admin, and they will get back to that person on the application status.

What I'm wondering is ... should we register this blog to Nuffnang sometime in the future, and we DO apply for Blogger of the Month, how would things turn out?

.......

"We is Blogger of the Month!"

p/s: Please forgive my noob Photoshop skills. Lol.

Itchy?

2007-06-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

An itch is defined as "irritating skin sensation causing a desire to scratch". While the commonly believed best remedy for an itch is to scratch the said itch, sometimes scratching an itch will cause skin inflammation, which leads to more itchiness.

Oh, the bitchiness.

Believe it or not, the best way to remedy an itch is to apply hot or cold water onto the itch.

......

But what if it's a different kind of "itch" we're talking about? *wink*

Welcome to We Is Gatal, people!
p/s: This skin is probably only gonna be temporary, at least till I find a better design.